Pajamas required

I can safely say, after 15 years innkeeping, this has only happened once.

We were retiring to bed one evening. We had two rooms of guests that night, an older couple in one room, and a young one in another. Shortly after turning off the lights, The cellphone rang, and Tom answered it. On the the other end of the line, was the panicked sounding elder gentleman. "This is Bob from the Inverness room!!" He spluttered "There was a naked man in my room!!" "WHAT???" gasped Tom, inwardly wishing he did just about anything else for a living at that moment. "I'll be right there!!"

He turned on the lights and checked each area on the way toward the older couple's room. As he passed the younger couple's room, he noticed the door was slightly open, but the lights were out. He detected a slight movement in the bed, but did not disturb the couple. He reached the Inverness room and knocked.

The man did not want to open the door at first. Eventually, he cracked it open to explain what had happened.. He had been in the shower, when he heard his wife, who was in bed, scream "what are you doing in here!?"  He ran out of the bath to find a fully naked man, cowering behind  a wicker chair, looking as shocked and horrified as his wife did. He asked the man "Who are you? What are you doing in my room?"  And the man blurted out "Security!" And ran from the room.

At this point, he locked the door, and had called my husband. He had been hesitant to open the door, because they had not met Tom earlier, it was I who had shown them to their room. He thought the naked man might indeed be the innkeeper, checking on the "security" of his establishment.

The younger couple were gone by daybreak, and did not join us for breakfast in the morning. As we discussed it again over breakfast, I regretfully noticed the lady still seemed shaken. We all concluded, based on the equal surprise of the young man, that he must have been a sleepwalker. The husband declared he would never again forget to lock the door, no matter how safe and comfortable he felt. And we hoped that wherever he was, the sleepwalker had become fully committed to pajama pants!

Potty Training

(I wrote this five years ago. Just decided to throw caution away and publish it)

My eldest son was 10 months old when we first moved in and began innkeeping. That means to date we have potty trained 3 children, with one slated for this summer. Our firstborn, as not uncommon with first-time parents, had a number of potty training "quirks". Most of these were managed by me, but on a couple of occasions, Tom had to stand in. One of these times we were eating in a restaurant when Jack announced he "had to go". Tom volunteered to take him and in about 10 minutes, both returned to the table, Tom wearing a strange expression on his face.

"How did it go?" I asked.

"Well, O.K." he replied, and then explained. Apparently upon entering the restroom, Jack spied the urinals on the wall, and insisted he be allowed to try them out. Well, ok, so far, but then quirk #1 set in...Total nakedness. And I mean shoes, socks, EVERYTHING. So, on the verge of a pants-soaking tantrum, Tom relents. All clothes are removed and folded on the countertop. But then comes quirk #2 "Total Privacy". "Go in there!" Jack tells Tom, directing him to an empty stall. "Just GO!" says Tom. "NOOOOO!" wails Jack. "You're LOOKING!" GO IN THERE!!" Quickly, before management is sent in to see what is going on, Tom ducks into a stall. "Close the door!" Demands Jack. Finally satisfied that everything is to his liking, he completes his business. And it dawns on Tom that here he is, a full grown man, hiding in a bathroom stall, peeking through the crack at a completely naked 2 year old standing at the urinal. If anyone came in, he would have some explaining to do. Luck was with him, and no one else had to use men's room that time.

That time, he was fortunate that quirk #3 did not come into play. This is the "Bottom cleanliness inspection" quirk which followed a complete bathroom visit.  However, luck would not always be on his side. One morning, after serving a delicious gourmet breakfast to a party of 6, Tom was sitting with a cup of coffee chatting with our guests. The door which seperated the dining room from our side of the house was open about 6 inches and from this opening Tom heard the words called from within... "Daddy, Daddy, how did I do?" He looks up to see Jack, coming to a stop from a full run, in all of his 2-year-old naked glory, on the verge of turning around and grabbing his ankles. Tom leapt from his chair mid-sentance and pulled the door shut. It was a good save. It mighta caused one heck of a trip advisor review!

Back at it

I started this blog 5 years ago.  I dont know why I never continued, but I think I might have been concerned that by posting all the unusual, funny stories, prospective guests might  avoid us, thinking we are a madhouse. We are not....most of the time our days are filled with meeting pleasant people from all over, and enjoying their company. And lots of yard work. Too much yard work!!! Additionally, our four children are now aged 7-15, and the years of irrational toddler behavior is long over (though I hear I can expect some teenager drama to replace it in the future!)
Anyway, now I am much more concerned that I will begin to forget all the things we have experienced.  I want to write them down, and share them with you! They should come sporadically, as I remember them.  So here goes!