Potty Training

(I wrote this five years ago. Just decided to throw caution away and publish it)

My eldest son was 10 months old when we first moved in and began innkeeping. That means to date we have potty trained 3 children, with one slated for this summer. Our firstborn, as not uncommon with first-time parents, had a number of potty training "quirks". Most of these were managed by me, but on a couple of occasions, Tom had to stand in. One of these times we were eating in a restaurant when Jack announced he "had to go". Tom volunteered to take him and in about 10 minutes, both returned to the table, Tom wearing a strange expression on his face.

"How did it go?" I asked.

"Well, O.K." he replied, and then explained. Apparently upon entering the restroom, Jack spied the urinals on the wall, and insisted he be allowed to try them out. Well, ok, so far, but then quirk #1 set in...Total nakedness. And I mean shoes, socks, EVERYTHING. So, on the verge of a pants-soaking tantrum, Tom relents. All clothes are removed and folded on the countertop. But then comes quirk #2 "Total Privacy". "Go in there!" Jack tells Tom, directing him to an empty stall. "Just GO!" says Tom. "NOOOOO!" wails Jack. "You're LOOKING!" GO IN THERE!!" Quickly, before management is sent in to see what is going on, Tom ducks into a stall. "Close the door!" Demands Jack. Finally satisfied that everything is to his liking, he completes his business. And it dawns on Tom that here he is, a full grown man, hiding in a bathroom stall, peeking through the crack at a completely naked 2 year old standing at the urinal. If anyone came in, he would have some explaining to do. Luck was with him, and no one else had to use men's room that time.

That time, he was fortunate that quirk #3 did not come into play. This is the "Bottom cleanliness inspection" quirk which followed a complete bathroom visit.  However, luck would not always be on his side. One morning, after serving a delicious gourmet breakfast to a party of 6, Tom was sitting with a cup of coffee chatting with our guests. The door which seperated the dining room from our side of the house was open about 6 inches and from this opening Tom heard the words called from within... "Daddy, Daddy, how did I do?" He looks up to see Jack, coming to a stop from a full run, in all of his 2-year-old naked glory, on the verge of turning around and grabbing his ankles. Tom leapt from his chair mid-sentance and pulled the door shut. It was a good save. It mighta caused one heck of a trip advisor review!